September 3, 2005
Beware the weeds of life, especially one named Charlie. A word of warning--he is a creep.
Guess I had better explain.
Most of us aging Boomers recall that in the 60’s, and 70’s, we knew college kids and “flower children” that were acquainted with “Killer Weed.”
Today, however, we are far more likely to be concerned with “weed killer.”
That’s right; killing weeds ranks right near the top of our favorite things, along with afternoon or evening naps on the sofa.
Why is that you ask?
Because there is a weed out there named Creeping Charlie. He and his cousins (dandelions and other broadleaf fiends) are worse than a toothache. Some of us are sick to death of fighting him and his cousins in our lawns.
You are no doubt well aware of the broadleaf culprits of whom I speak, whether you know their given names or not: moneywort (Creeping Charlie), common plantain, buckhorn, thistle, wild carrot, and wild onion.
Some folks have been known to carry a spray bottle of Roundup with them, stopping in neighbors’ yards in the late evening or early morning hours when they can’t be seen, to spray weeds such as Charlie. He and his cousins multiply, you know.
Others of us have been seen relentlessly pulling dandelions night after night, only to find a fresh crop in our lawns when the sun comes out next day.
Don’t be mistaken. This observation is not about obsessive compulsive behavior.
No sirree.
It is about Missouri noxious weeds!
No doubt, other states have them, too, but I wonder because it has recently come to my attention that Colorado rarely has flies.
So what’s the deal here in Missouri?
I was determined to find out and moved to research what I could about noxious weeds.
First, you should know that these intruders are extremely aggressive and have a high reproductive potential with one of the worst of the batch being known as Creeping Charlie. Such weeds have no useful value to humans.
I think I have known a few Creeping Charlies in my day!
Once I heard a speaker at an FFA dinner go on and on about Creeping Jenny. Now, I find out that Jenny and Charlie are not just related, they are one in the same.
A weed by any other name is still a weed!
Be warned.
Still researching, I found brochures from a variety of agencies that explain the good qualities of weeds, followed by disclaimers. See how they romanticize this plant.
“This is a good carpeting plant for shady places under trees, but it must be admitted that it spreads rapidly and may become a weed,” so says a brochure explaining Charlie.
Ah ha! “It may become a weed, indeed!”
They admit it.
Take heed, though, Creeping Charlie has other names: moneywort, loosestrife, and gooseneck, and there are many varieties of these.
Still, the brochure goes on calling Charlie by its scientific name, Lysimachia, and touting one variety’s wonderful properties, such as showy yellow flowers and the asset that it does not require any care.
No kidding, that’s because it is a weed!
The description reads, “The Loosestrife (Charlie) is useful for cutting for it lasts well and for growing in a border, wild garden, or along lakes…There is hardly any plant which surpasses the Moneywort (Charlie) for covering banks, rustic urns, vases, old stumps, or to grow in hanging baskets.”
Fine, but deliver me from Charlie, or whatever his name is!
Wish that was the end of my story but it is not, I have recently been introduced to possibly the nastiest weed known to man, nutmeg grass.
Once nutmeg grass (aka Nutsedge) starts to sprout, nothing stops it. One can even replace the dirt in the flower bed, and it comes back!
There is no known antidote.
Don’t let anyone call it by a different name.
You have been warned.
